Shame the Devil
by Storybookgirl77
Summary: Set in the aftermath of Colin's death can Harry, Ruth, Malcolm and the others really find the truth and shame the devil? (Set series 5. Predates my other stories)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer I don't own Spooks/MI5. All copyright belongs to BBC television and KUDOS productions. No copyright infringement is intended - nor should be inferred

C1 - Loss

Malcolm glared at the living too wall knowing he had to do something. He had no idea what but something had to be done. His friend was dead. Quiet, geeky and unassuming Colin was dead. He had no idea what his friend could have done to hurt anyone but he knew for certain the be speckled desk officer would never hurt anyone. In that moment he knew how Ruth had felt when Danny had been murdered.

"Drink this." He looked up to see Ruth offering him a mug of tea.

"Tea." He sighed. "How very English!"

"Sorry."

"Ruth, don't." He paused. "Don't apologise. You've done nothing to be sorry for."

Ruth sat next to him, holding her own mug as they fell into silence. Neither knew what to say without bursting into tears. Malcolm had already shouted at Adam and Harry. Zaf seemed to withdraw into himself and Malcolm wasn't sure Jo had stopped crying. He sipped his tea, thinking of the new girl who had eventually betrayed her father and begun to accept her place in D.

"This isn't Ros' fault."

"You like Ros." Ruth turned to him. "Don't you?"

"You don't?"

"I have no reason to like or dislike her. I'm reserving judgement today." Ruth sipped her tea. Malcolm watched her for a moment.

"But you don't trust her?"

"No." Ruth conceded. "Not yet. Like and dislike can be instantaneous but trust takes time. But you are right. Colin dying. Colin." Her voice broke. "Not her fault."

"No. It isn't." Ruth squeezed Malcolm's hand. "And it isn't ours. You, Adam, Joanna, Zaf, Harry and I. Not our fault."

"It isn't Colin's!"

"I never said it was. You know as well as I do the coroner will say suicide. Unless we can prove otherwise. Unless." She blinked back a tear as Adam appeared alongside Harry in the doorway of Adam's living room.

"Unless we find the truth." Adam concluded. "I told Zaf to take Jo home. She's too distraught to think straight. Ros is calling some old contacts in six before they realise Joss has been arrested. We need the names of his minions."

"We are really doing this?" Malcolm paused.

"Getting justice for Colin?" Harry paused. "Yes. If it's all we can do for him now is get justice, that's what we will do." The room fell silent as Ruth placed her mug on the coffee table.

"In that case I need to get my laptop." Ruth got to her feet, a sad smile on her face as she wondered if they really could expose the truth.

Xxxxxx

A/N please review


	2. Chapter 2

Roof

The wind caught in her hair as she stared out over the cityscape. London had always been a place of awe and excitement to her. She smiled slightly, remembering her father describing his trips to London and always bringing her a little souvenir. She touched the necklace as she thought of him; knowing it was her last birthday present from him.

"Ruth?"

"Hi." She paused as Harry stood next to her.

"Are you alright?"

"No but I think I will be. I was thinking of my Dad. He bought me this necklace when I was ten. Very posh for a little kid but I loved it." She sighed.

"And you've kept it?"

"He died six months later. Everything changed but I had this. This was from him and it never changed." She paused. "Another man gone too soon." She sighed. "First Danny, now Colin. Who else?"

"Ruth."

"Colin did not commit suicide. He had no history of depression, mental illness. There were no family problems or relationship issues. He was single for the last year."

"I know."

"He was killed. Murdered."

"Ruth." Harry rested his hand on her arm, effectively silencing her. "I know."

"Why? Why him? It's not fair, Harry. It's not right. Colin wouldn't hurt anyone. He loved his work, his friends. It's just not right."

Harry nodded as he pulled her into his arms instinctively. He knew she was right. Colin had been an outstanding officer with a heart of gold. He should never have been in the field.

"If anyone is to blame, Ruth, then it's me."

Ruth pulled back like she had been shot.

"No."

"I'm Section Head. His safety and yours is on my shoulders. You, Colin and Malcolm should never have left the Grid. He would be alive if I'd opted to keep you all here. Safe." He looked away, clearly ashamed as she rested a hand against his cheek.

"Do you know who I blame?"

"I."

"I blame the liars and the cheats who tried to stage a coup. I blame Ros' father. His henchmen. Not you or anyone here. Colin wouldn't want this. "You know that. He'd want justice not recriminations."

"Malcolm."

"Has just lost one of his oldest and closest friends. Colin was the brother he never had. He's angry. So am I."

"Did you find anything?"

"Maybe." Ruth nodded. "It's not here. Can you come to mine? Tonight after work? I'll show you then. I didn't want to have it on the Grid. Spies everywhere." She smiled. Harry nodded before blinking back a tear. "Oh Harry."

"Something in my eye." He paused as his voice cracked. Ruth smiled slightly before turning away. She knew they'd find the truth; it was just knowing what to do with it that would be the problem.

Xxxxxxx


	3. Chapter 3

Night

Ruth tidied up the living room, lifting the kitten as he tried to snooze on the sofa.

"Fidget." She cuddled the little kitten as she wondered what Harry would think of her little house. She bit her lip silently wondering what would happen. She knew Harry trusted her but this was different. This was her home. She had always felt safe. Lonely often but always safe. Now she had let some of her work cross the threshold. Harry. She closed her eyes, thinking of him on the rooftop. He had been right, of course. The ultimate responsibility for their safety was down to him. She shook her head wondering how one man could bare it all.

Xxxxxx

Adam walked through the cemetery, glad that his mum was there for the weekend. He didn't want to explain to Wes why he was being palmed off on strangers. He paused as he reached the marble headstone he had been walking towards.

"Fi." He whispered as he read the inscription on the headstone. Even in death she didn't have her real name. Fiona Carter - beloved wife and mummy. Always missed. And a set of dates below. She'd lived with the lie for so long even Wes didn't know her real name - that she and Adam weren't legally married. He sat opposite the grave, his head on his hands.

"Colin's died." He whispered to the grave. "Before you ask; Wes is fine. He's happy with my mum. Colin was murdered." He looked up. "God, I wish you were here. I need you Fi. I need someone to talk to, to make all this make sense. Harry is on the warpath, Malcolm is beyond furious, Jo cries. A lot. It's her first death on duty, Zaf is weirdly quiet, Ruth barely says a word unless it's to Harry and the new girl, Ros, you knew her at 6? She's like an ice maiden. She's cold. Really cold. Clinical. The Section has lost its heart and it's killing us all."

He stood up, wiping away a tear.

"I miss you. Every second. Every day. Fiona." He touched the cold marble. "Look after him, up there." He kissed his fingers before touching the gravestone. "Love you." He turned, walking away still unsure of what his next actions should be.

Xxxxx

Ruth picked up the copy of her favourite DVD, slipping the microfiche she had hidden in it. Slipping it up her sleeve, so it sat under her watch she turned sharply at the sound of the back door clicking. Fear gripped her immediately- wanted guests didn't just break into the back kitchen. Glancing around for a weapon she paused as she heard a familiar voice.

"Harry."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." He smiled slightly as her eyebrows shot up.

"Don't break into my house then."

Harry looked away.

"I thought I would be followed. Your back door had no security on it. Ruth, anyone could break in!"

"Apparently so."

"Ruth." His voice dropped as Ruth bit her lip, one hand going to her necklace.

"Sorry. Tea?"

Harry smiled as he nodded. He blushed slightly as she slipped past him, brushing his hand she dropped the microfiche into his pocket. He sighed; silently wondering if something could happen between them or if he was just a dirty old man. Shaking his head he pushed all thoughts of relationships and romance out of his head. He knew she had imploded when Danny had been killed - he was determined she wouldn't do the same this time. He needed her.

Xxxxx


	4. Chapter 4

Tea

Ruth headed into the kitchen leaving Harry alone in the living room. She had been totally focused on finding the truth around Colin's untimely death that she had barely let herself think about how she would never see her friend again.

Colin was quiet, geeky, kind, thoughtful and a good man. He had gone out of his way to welcome her when she had transferred; had looked after Danny when Zoe had left, kept Malcolm sane when Sam or Jo had done something to one of their gadgets. Above all he had been her friend. And like Danny he was gone forever. She covered her face with her hands, stifling the sobs she didn't know she making just as two strong hands gripped her shoulders.

"It's ok." He turned her in his arms, hugging her tightly to him. "Ruth, it's ok to cry."

"I'm." She mumbled something inaudible into his shirt. Harry brushed her hair back.

"What? I didn't catch that."

"I'm not losing the plot this time. I can't. After Danny."

Harry closed his eyes, remembering her decent into depression when Danny Hunter had died at the hands of terrorists. He held her a little tighter.

"Are you still taking the medication?"

"No. Prozac just numbed me while I sorted myself out. While you sorted me out." He kissed her hair, relieved when she didn't run or freeze. Instead she held him tightly, her arms circling his waist.

"What are we doing?"

Ruth pulled back, immediately missing his touch.

"I was making tea."

"Ah yes."

"Malcolm is angry, he's not coping. You mustn't take what he said to heart. It was the grief."

"And you know that?" Harry paused as the kettle boiled. Ruth nodded, retrieving the tea bags from the caddy by the biscuit tin.

"Yes. He snapped at me too. And Adam. Strangely enough it's only Jo that has had a kind word from him in days." Ruth handed him the mug. "She's devastated."

"Joanna? Yes well. She's young."

"She's the baby on the team. She's a lovely girl but she's innocent." Ruth sipped her tea. "Not like the rest of us."

"Not like me."

"Harry."

"I was a spook before Joanna Portman was born. I'm a dinosaur, Ruth. I don't think she's been exposed to the full horror of this job. Not yet."

Ruth nodded, she liked the new girl. Jo was a breath of fresh air to the Grid. It was nice to have another woman around; before Ros had joined the Grid had been very male dominated.

"I hope she never is." Ruth paused. "Danny told me something. When he found me that day I was taken."

Harry felt his guts turn. It had been Danny that had realised Ruth was in trouble - that she would never randomly text Sam to say she wasn't coming to work. The guilt at letting her down that day still burned. Ruth frowned slightly, watching him stood in her kitchen.

"What did he tell you?"

"He promised me that we'd never end up cold, jaded and lost. Not like Andrew. But I think it is happening now. To me, at least. I hope it doesn't happen to Jo or Zaf for that matter."

"You are none of those things."

"Harry, Danny was murdered. I held his hand after he died. I lost the plot."

"You were ill. That's all."

"I know." She conceded. "I threw myself into the path of a bus. I could have died. I hated myself, loathed my own skin. My best friend had died because I was slow. Now? Now poor, sweet Colin has gone. And what am I?" She looked Harry in the eye. "Angry. Furious. I want to see those responsible brought to justice." She glared at him. "Revenge. It's not something I've ever sought. Not after Chloe died, losing Danny, us nearly dying in Iraq. I don't like what I'm turning into."

"Ruth." Harry rested both hands on her shoulders. He remembered holding her by the shoulders in a battered old hotel room; inspecting injuries - real and imagined. Now he was more worried about the mental scars. She looked away, unable to hold his gaze. Tears filled his own eyes as he realised she was right. While he'd closed his own emotions off he hadn't thought about the rest of the team. Revenge, retribution and justice had been on his agenda. He sighed heavily.

"I like the person you are. You're angry. I'd say, in the circumstances you're right to be. I am."

She hung her head as he pulled her back into his arms. This tiny woman was probably the strongest person he had ever met, she was certainly the most intelligent.

"Tell me." He rested his chin on her head. "Am I right? Does this all lead back to Joss Myers? The failed coup?"

"Yes, but that's not the whole story." He nodded, knowing that nothing was that straight forward when it came to Section D.

Xxxxxxx


	5. Chapter 5

The whole

Harry listened as Ruth busied herself making them both hot sweet tea. The words tripped out of her mouth without barely a pause for breath as Harry gratefully took the mug of tea.

"I don't think Ros was involved in any way. She's as much a victim of her father as the rest of us." Ruth sighed. "She didn't know the coup would be as blood thirsty. Joss twisted her mind. Brainwashed her; the way only a fanatical parent can."

"I see."

"Don't blame her."

"I blame her father. I didn't think you liked her."

"She's not my best friend but she's good at what she does. You can't help your family, Harry. I know that more than anyone."

Harry nodded, watching her eyes cloud over. It seemed that his Ruth had a generosity of spirit most spooks lacked. He took a deep breath, knowing thoughts like that could only lead to madness.

"Then who?"

"Colin was the heart of Section D. Everyone loved him. You know that. What's the best way to kill something?"

"Excuse me?"

"To rip the heart out."

"Ruth." Harry looked at her. "The Home Secretary."

"Wants us gone. He sees the War on Terror as an American invention that costs us far too much money."

"When he claims thousands on expenses." Harry narrowed his eyes. Ruth nodded. "You have evidence of this?"

"On that disk. If it's traced back to me. If Mace and the HS work out its me they will."

"Not touch you." Harry watched the fear leave her eyes. "This stays within D. You, Adam, Zaf, Joanna, Ros and Malcolm. No one else! And as for us costing the taxpayer that moron knows we are running on half staff. We should have at least another six officers."

Ruth smiled slightly. She knew he was fiercely protective of his team, and especially her. He always had been.

"Just." She paused. "We need to be careful. If we want someone to pay for the murder of our Colin then we need to be careful."

Harry nodded. A plan already working its way through his brain.

Xxxxxxx

Malcolm had barely slept. He hated that it had been Colin that had been targeted. His best friend - his surrogate brother in many respects was dead. He couldn't but help think it should be him laying cold in the mortuary, not Colin. He swore under his breath as the phone rang. It was late. He at least wanted to pretend to be asleep. It was the wrong ring tone for a Red Flash so he was inclined to ignore it. Realising his elderly mother would probably try to get out of bed to answer the blasted call and more than likely fall over he hurled himself out of bed. Minutes later he was listening to a very irate Harry.

"Do you know what time it is?" Malcolm snapped. Harry walked along the corridor of a deserted Thames House as he spoke.

"1:45 am. That watch Catherine bought me still works."

"Harry."

"I've just spent the night with Ruth."

"Oh! Oh I. Well."

"Working Malcolm. Working." Harry clarified. "Can you meet me? I'll text you co ordinates. We're going to have to go old school on this."

"Cold War craftsmanship."

"Exactly. One hour from now? Yes?"

"Yes." Malcolm scrubbed a hand over his face. He wasn't doing this for his team. This wasn't for the greater good of the U.K. or Queen and Country. This was for Colin. So that Malcolm could look himself in the eye knowing he hadn't let his best friend down. Harry ended the call, gathered what he needed and left, knowing the code 'send coordinates' would have anyone watching him scramble to hack his phone. Malcolm knew where to meet him. Getting there was all that mattered.

Xxxx

A/N please review


	6. Chapter 6

Heart Hammer

Harry sat in his car, the radio silent as he stared out over the dark embankment. He had known the Home Secretary would only suit his own agenda but he was more surprised at Ruth's total exoneration of Rosalind Myers. He had thought she had been sent to the section to spy on them for her father. But it seemed she was there as punishment. In the silence he blamed Joss Myers, Oliver Mace and the Home Secretary. The new girl, well if Ruth was willing to give her a chance then so was he. The darkness enveloped the pool car he had acquired, his gloved hands firmly on the wheel as he waited for the signal his friend - his oldest and most trusted of them all was there. The single flash of a cigarette lighter reassured Harry that he was. Harry flashed the headlights once before Malcolm joined him.

"Harry."

"Thank you for meeting with me." Harry paused. "I know."

"Colin was. Is my friend. When you were all out saving the world it was us three, Colin, Ruth and I that sat and waited. Always watching and waiting. Praying our efforts were enough to get you and the field officers home. When Helen died; when Danny and then Fiona did you think it was only the field officers affected?"

"Adam."

"Of course when Fiona was murdered there was no one as devastated as Adam. Helen - young, bubbly Helen. Her whole life ahead of her killed in the most evil way. That was the beginning of the end of Tom's time with us."

"There was nothing between Helen Flynn and Tom Quinn." Harry frowned. "Was there?"

"Yes they were friends. Colleagues. Tom was her senior. He felt and probably somewhere still feels responsible."

"The risks."

"Are part of the job for you and your ilk. But not for desk spooks." Malcolm sighed. "Yes Ruth did ok. She went back for Adam that time. But that was instinct not training, as you well know."

"Yes I know." Harry ran his hand over his face. "I should apologise. For what I said to you at Adam's home the night Colin died. You were right to be angry with me."

"As I recall, I was and still am angry with most people."

"Helen." Harry paused, thinking of the young woman he had selected from over fifty new recruits. "Her death, not on Tom's shoulders. Mine. I'm section head. It's my burden and no one else's."

"Oh don't play the bloody martyr!"

Malcolm snapped. Harry raised his eyes.

"I'm not. I'm just saying blame anyone then blame me. And these people." He handed his friend the slip of paper. Three names translated into morse code running from top to bottom.

"That high up?" Malcolm narrowed his eyes, squinting to see in the dim light.

"Ruth has been digging."

"So I see."

"She loved him too. Colin. It's not just you that lost a friend. Ruth's had very few of those but she counts Colin and you among them." Harry couldn't help but smile as he thought of the intellectual mouse that had surprised them all. It seemed the timid woman had more steel to her than anyone gave her credit for. Malcolm nodded.

"So what now? The coroner will rule suicide. Police won't be bothered."

"We have names."

"Harry. What to do with these names?"

Harry looked away. He knew Malcolm didn't have the Machiavellian mind he did. Data, facts and faith yes, those he could deal with. Revenge? Vigilantism? Justice? Harry wasn't so sure.

"We get peace for our friend. And we make sure they never do this again." Harry watched Malcolm's face darken slightly before nodding. In that moment Harry knew there was no going back.


	7. Chapter 7

Peace?

Ruth was exhausted. She had barely slept since Colin had died, her dreams besieged by dreams of her friend calling out for her to help him. Yawning she sat on the bench looking out over the river Thames. She knew Harry had met with Malcolm but whether or not her friend was in any state to be involved was another matter. She pulled her coat closer to her, protecting her small frame from the cold.

"Ruth."

She smiled as she heard her name. She didn't need to look up to see who the man sitting next to her was. Instead she glanced to her left.

"I needed some air." She explained. "In there, it feels like everyone is watching."

"It's a building full of British Spies. Everyone should be watching." Harry smiled as she rolled her eyes. Ruth was still the self conscious girl that had exploded into the briefing room a couple of years earlier. Only now, after Adam's shooting, Angela Wells and their impromptu trip to Iraq he knew better than to underestimate her.

"Watching the watchers." She sighed. "Harry, is Malcolm agreeable to this? If he got hurt too."

Her eyes shone as Harry nodded. The unstated sentiment was felt by both. Malcolm Wynn-Jones was a good man, a better friend and if anything happened to him the guilt would engulf them; the same way Colin's demise had. Only it would be worse. Section D without its elder statesman was unthinkable.

"He knows. I gave him the information you found."

Ruth's head snapped towards him.

"Was that wise?"

"It's Malcolm."

"Harry, he's grieving. We all are, I know but Jo and the boys don't know." Ruth sighed. "If Malcolm reacts the way I did to Danny's death."

"Ruth - you were ill." Harry touched her hand. "Ruth."

"If we are looking to do this." Ruth looked at their hands, still linked together. "We have to look after him. We can't tell Jo and the boys. You saw how Adam was. When Fiona died. Jo is too new. She's so young."

"She knew the world she was getting into. When she signed up she knew it was like her journalism days." Harry looked over to her. "She has to accept the realities of the service at some point."

"She's lived through losing Fiona." Ruth looked away. "Adam and Zaf,"

"The terrible twosome."

"Have had enough trouble. If I am right."

"You are." Harry looked up. "You know you are."

"Colin was assassinated by the State." Ruth looked over the River as Harry watched her. "If we fail. We are going to be at best thrown out of the Service. At worse we end up the same way as Colin. These are highly influential and very dangerous men! Adam has been through enough and Zaf has to be the one to hold them together - to deal with Mace and his ilk."

Harry frowned as he listened to her rationale.

"Adam will know something is going on. He's a good officer." Harry watched her. She nodded.

"I know. He's brilliant at his job. It won't take long for Zaf and Jo to work out what's going on. Then there's Juliet."

"Do we have to bring her into this!" Harry growled. Ruth squeezed his hand.

"I'd rather not. But if Mace works out what's happening then she could be an asset." Harry nodded.

"Or a liability."

"You know her better than I do."

"Hardly these days." Harry watched as Ruth smirked. "I've a dead drop with a former asset in about an hour. I'll know more then."

Ruth nodded before getting to her feet. Harry immediately missed the feel of her skin against his. She blushed, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"Be careful."

"Go back to Thames House. If anyone asks I'm meeting with Colin's sister Marjorie. Funeral arrangements or some such. That should sound plausible enough."

"Be careful."

"I will." He smiled at her. She shoved her hands back into her pockets as he rose from the bench. Harry straightened up slightly before kissing her cheek. She watched him walk away wondering just how high up the conspiracy went.

Xxxxxxxx


	8. Chapter 8

Dead drop

Harry had once thought his days of hands on spy craft were well and truly over. Sat in his office he sent the newer members of the team into the firing line. Adam, Zafar, Joanna, Rosalind, Ruth. He closed his eyes knowing he would always feel the guilt and weight of those they had lost. Helen, Fiona, Danny and now Colin. For a moment he wondered what on Earth he was doing; a man in his early 50s playing a young man's game. He shook his head sadly before heading towards the library he was due to collect the dead drop, he hoped Bernard had been able to give him the information they needed.

Xxxxx

Ruth slipped into Thames House almost unnoticed as she headed towards her desk. She knew Adam and Ros would be out working on some asset, Jo would be on her firearms training course with only Zaf and Malcolm likely to be on the Grid. She sighed in relief as she realised she was alone.

"Ruth." She turned sharply as the woman called her name.

"Ros. I thought you were with Adam."

Ros raised an eyebrow.

"He's currently dragging his knuckles across some concrete in Peckham. Zaf is with him."

"Right." Ruth knew the new girl had a sharp tongue but she really wasn't in the mood for the blonde's acid at that moment. "I've work to do."

"Don't we all?"

"Did you want something?"

"I'm part of this team. Neither of us particularly like that fact but I'm here."

Ruth glared at her.

"And I know my father and his friends are responsible for the death of Colin Wells."

"Ros, Colin was a very important part of D. He saved more lives with his gadgets and gizmos than any field officer has." Ruth folded her arms, glaring. "He was the heart of this place. Everyone's friend and ..."

"Touching eulogy." Ros interrupted. "I just thought you'd want to know that I found something. My father was responsible but it wasn't him that committed murder. That was these men." She handed Ruth the piece of paper she had been holding. "Ruth, I warn you. These men are evil to the core. The DG won't touch them and Colin was targeted deliberately."

"What?"

"What happens when something has its heart ripped out? It dies. Killing your friend was supposed to kill the Section. Now I'd rather that not happen." Ros turned before heading to the kitchen leaving Ruth holding the slip of paper in disbelief.

Xxxx


	9. Chapter 9

Names

"Scott Jenson, Lee Mackenzie." Ruth whispered the names as she folded the paper into small squares before slipping it under the strap of her watch. She sighed, remembering the small trick Tom had taught her. If she was compromised a terrorist wouldn't think to remove such a dainty watch and if she ended up in hospital the chances are it would be overlooked. Turning to her computer she began to wonder if Joss Myers daughter could be trusted.

Xxxxxxx

Harry stepped into the library, ignoring the young man sat behind the reception desk. He knew the place would be half deserted as many people would be in work or school. He headed up to the Natural History section; heading past it towards the vast section on war and battles. He pulled a small book from the third shelf at his own height.

"Tolstoy." He raised an eyebrow. It somehow seemed fitting that a fictional novel should be secreted among the factual books surrounding him. He opened the book, seeing the slip of paper secreted in the cover of the book. He frowned as he read the paper in his hand. Grimly he put the book back in its place on the shelf; turning to head out of the library. Bernard had confirmed his suspicions. All he had to do now was act on it.

Xxxxxx

"Ruth." Malcolm stepped towards her as she slipped her headphones off. She smiled slightly at her friend. He seemed to have aged in the days since Colin had died.

"Hi."

"The funeral. It's next Friday. Close family and friends. I spoke with Marjorie earlier." His voice broke. "Her husband isn't being particularly helpful. I spoke with Colin's niece Gabby. She's determined to do a reading. Brave girl."

"He was so proud of Gabby and Hannah." Ruth smiled, remembering how he had spoken of his gadget mad nieces, his lovely sister and idiot brother in law. He hadn't liked Niall at all. Ruth had trusted his judge of character.

"Yes. Gabby is only thirteen but she's determined to do a Bible reading. Hannah said reading from Wonderpedia or some gadget book more appropriate."

Ruth smiled. "The girl may have a point.

"Will you be there?"

"Of course." Ruth touched his hand. "Try stopping me."

"Thank you. He thought the world of you. Told me once he thought you were the only person he had ever seen make Harry stop and think. He was amazed by that." Malcolm shook his head. He knew there was something there. Ruth blushed.

"He's my boss but he's also my friend. Like you."

"Ruth; it's more than that. Life is all too short."

"Anyway." Ruth looked up as Harry returned to the Grid. He stormed past them both as Ruth remembered the little slip of paper secured under her watch strap. She had work to do. Malcolm nodded before retreating back to his own workspace knowing they had to find peace somehow.

Xxxxxx


	10. Chapter 10

Blind Side

"Harry." Ruth stepped into his office as he loosened his tie. He looked exhausted, his tie taking the brunt of his temper.

"Bloody idiot."

"Thanks."

"Not you Ruth, that's the one thing you've never been nor will be."

She blushed slightly, leaning against the closed office door.

"Jo is on her firearms course, Ros has gone to speak to an asset. Adam and Zaf are chasing a lead in Battersea. Malcolm and I have been the only ones on the Grid for most of the day."

"Ok." Harry frowned. Part of him was glad he had forgotten to open the blinds that morning. Ruth pressed herself against the door. She knew she was babbling but the sight of Harry looking so dishevelled and somewhat lost had shaken her.

"Ros called in. She wasn't here long. Gave me this." Ruth fumbled with her watch as he watched her. He raised an eyebrow.

"What's this?"

Harry took the paper from her as she refastened her watch. He unfolded it as Ruth looked anywhere but at him.

"Names. Ros said she didn't want to be seen as condoning what her father did. She got these names. These are the men that murdered Colin. On her father's orders." The words tumbled out of her as she tried not to let her voice shake.

"I see."

"How did the dead drop go?"

"A waste of time." Harry sighed. "Ruth; if anything comes of this you never gave me this paper. Ros never spoke to you and Malcolm knows nothing." He stepped closer to her. Ruth narrowed her eyes.

"Harry."

He was so close she could catch the scent of his aftershave as he held her gaze.

"I mean it. Ruth, if anyone takes the fall for what might happen it's going to be me. I don't intend to risk losing you or anyone else."

"I found that Intel. He was murdered in cold blood. Ros said it herself, it was intended to rip the heart out of the team. That's what Colin was."

Harry nodded, his heart beating a little faster than he was sure was healthy as Ruth rested a hand on his chest. They had been through so much. Losing Danny; Fiona's death, Baghdad and now this. Yet the small, almost mousy woman in front of him remained stronger than ever.

"I won't risk losing you." He spoke quietly, remembering Juliet's words in hospital. He knew she was right - he loved Ruth. His analyst frowned slightly, before reaching up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

"We can do this Harry. Together."

Xxxx


	11. Chapter 11

Together

"Harry." Ruth paused as he read the names on the slip of paper once more, she knew he was shutting her out to keep her safe. She knew whatever there was between them was more serious than they cared to admit. The thought of Harry facing the scum responsible for the death of her friend made her stomach churn.

"I can deal with this."

He smiled slightly as she raised an eyebrow. For the millionth time he wondered how a woman over ten years his junior could be more wise than anyone he knew.

"We've lost Colin." Ruth reiterated. "Malcolm will never be the same again. I don't think any of us will be."

Harry touched her arm, watching as her eyes told him what her words couldn't. She was terrified for him.

"I can't risk anyone else." Harry explained. "This is a black op. It has to be."

"And I can't risk losing you." Her voice almost a whisper as she bit her lip. She flickered her gaze up to his; the gap between them almost disappearing as he brushed her brown hair away from her face. Before he could talk himself out of it his lips brushed against hers. Ruth's eyes fell closed as she gripped his shirt, returning the kiss as the chaste brush of lips became more passionate. Harry didn't care who saw them. The woman he was in love with - had been for longer than he knew was in his arms, kissing him as if his life and hers depended on it. The need for oxygen overwhelmed them both as they broke apart, gasping for air.

"Baghdad." She whispered. Harry raised an eyebrow in question. "Last time you kissed me. In Baghdad. When I'd got back to the hotel after Jim Cover."

"Yes." He remembered the fear in the pit of his stomach as he remembered the war torn country, besieged by horror and bloodshed seemed to conspire to rip them apart.

"That's how scared I am now."

Harry realised what she was trying to tell him. He kissed her forehead. This almost romance they had found themselves in moving forward enough to strengthen his desire to tell her how he felt. He made himself a mental promise that should he return unscathed he would tell her and be damned the consequences.

"I will come back."

"Make sure you do." She bit her lip. "At least tell Adam where you are going. Ros or Zaf even. You might need back up."

"No. Zaf and Joanna are too junior. Ros is too close to this and Adam needs to look after this place. If the DG drags me down I don't want any of you to have to lie for me."

He stepped back, hating the look of resigned terror he saw in her eyes.

"Ok but call me. Please. When you can?"

"I will." He kissed her cheek before leaving his office. Ruth watched him go wondering if she would see him again.

Xxxxxxc

Adam jogged through the pods as Malcolm and Ruth sat quietly at their desks. Both apparently absorbed in what they were doing. He shrugged his shoulders before heading to the small kitchenette at the side of the Grid. He knew his friends. They were grieving and they were angry and hurt. A good man had been killed in the most horrific way. Now all they had was his abandoned desk and few half finished gadgets to remember him by.

He emerged from the kitchenette carrying his mug of tea. The atmosphere was different. Something was going on. To the casual observer nothing would seem out of place but every cell in his body screamed something was wrong.

"Ruth? Where's Harry?" He kept his tone conversational.

"Oh. I."

"Ruth?"

"He's gone to see Colin's sister. Said he'd call in on his way home. It's his don's birthday tomorrow so I think he wants to spend some time with him." She hated how easily she lied. Adam was a friend; had become a surrogate brother to her since he had joined them. Lying to him was the last things she wanted to do.

"Oh right."

"Sorry Adam. He's more shaken by all this than he admitted. Perhaps he's realised life is too short."

Adam smiled, he knew Ruth and Harry were closer than most coworkers would ever be. Now that she seemed to trust him enough to lie for him confirmed his decision to place a bet on them in Zaf's book was justified.

"Maybe." He nodded. "When he makes contact, and he will." Ruth looked away. "Tell him I know and I am able to provide back up."

"Adam."

"I've been doing this too long to not work this out." He smiled. "You watch- things will crinkle out just as they meant to. Karma is a wonderful thing; even if it does need a helping hand occasionally." He sipped his tea before getting up and heading to his own desk. Ruth glanced at the lock, praying her friend was right.

Xxxxx


	12. Chapter 12

Alone

Ruth kept her eyes on the computer screen. It was getting late, the ticking of the clock reminding her that Harry had been gone for longer than she was comfortable with. She glanced at her watch for what felt like the millionth time since he had left her. Biting her lip she forced herself to keep her focus on the translation she was working on. Chinese dialects were complicated. Mandarin was one thing but Wu was a whole different challenge.

Xxxxxx

The man on the park bench looked older than when Harry had seen him last. A loner by nature he had finally caved - the ideology of what they did for Queen and Country no longer fitting with his outlook on life. He had turned into a mercenary and Harry hated him for it.

"Harry."

"Two years is a long time." Harry sat next to him. The younger man nodded. The rest of London barely noticed their existence. Spooks in a world where the living are too busy to notice.

"Not long enough." The voice was harsher; more world weary than he remembered. "Zoe and Danny."

"You heard?"

"You should have done more. Zoe was hung out to dry."

"She's not in prison. I can't tell you where she is but she's safe. Free."

"And Danny Hunter?"

"Died saving another officer." Harry kept his voice neutral, pushing all thoughts of the terrible day Danny had died away. The man next to his nodded.

"He was a good man."

"Yes." Harry agreed.

"Colin?" The younger man took a sip from his overpriced coffee.

"Murdered in cold blood. He did not commit suicide. He was killed for what he was, not who. I know who did it. They'll never go to court - there'll be no trial. The coroner has already decided Colin died by his own hand."

"And what are we? Judge, jury and executioner?"

"No." Harry ran a hand over his face. Tired, angry and heartbroken in equal measure. "I am not asking you to kill anyone."

"Then what?"

"Make life difficult for these people. Make them pay for killing a gentle, articulate man that you were once a friend of." Harry glanced to his side. The dark haired man had gained weight; it suited him. He looked rested but still troubled. The years of service still lingering in his distrustful eyes.

"Names."

Harry handed his the paper so quickly no one would notice. Tom slipped the crumpled paper under the face of his watch.

"How can I contact you?"

"You can't. It'll be done but this is it. No more. You have my word. I'll ruin these men. They'd wish I had killed them." He sipped his drink before throwing the carton into the waste bin next to the bench. "I have to go." He got to his feet as Harry looked away. Moments later he was gone. Harry smiled to himself. Tom Quinn hadn't been a serving officer for over two years but he was still as much of an enigma as ever. Remembering his promise to Ruth he pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket before making his way to the black 4x4 waiting for him.

Xxxxx


	13. Chapter 13

Call

"Ruth." He stated when she answered in the second ring. "How are things there?" He smiled as he heard the sigh in her voice. The intimacy and solitude of his car made him more confident- he didn't have to worry about the others or seeing Ruth's reaction.

"Slow." She paused. "Jo called. The firearms course went well."

"You are due to take that." Harry knew she hated guns and abhorred violence. She had been avoiding the course for as long as she could get away with.

"Am I?" She asked innocently.

"It's compulsory and not by my choice."

"Harry."

"I think things are in motion. Ruth, it's late and I am sure you are the last one on the Grid. Go home." He spoke calmly, his voice like velvet as she looked around the Grid. She knew he was right.

"Yes, everyone has left. I just want to finish this translation for the conference next week. Special Branch owe me one for this. The sooner Dianne Lloyd gets back from maternity leave the better."

"Who?" Harry had no idea what she was talking about.

"Special Branch analyst. Had a baby boy, Michael last week."

Harry smiled. He knew she would know that. Would have sent the baby a card and present. She did things like that. He barely have the lives of others a thought. She was different from the average spook. It was natural to her and Zaf to consider the emotional side of things. In that moment he wondered if telling her about the meetings with Tom was a good idea.

"Harry? Are you there?"

"Yes." He nodded, despite the fact she couldn't see him. "Go home."

"I will." Ruth decided. "When I'm ready. I want to feel like I've covered everything regarding the Chinese agents."

"Go home." He started the engine. His voice softer. "Ruth, I need you."

"I." Ruth felt her pulse speed up.

"I can't do this without you." He knew he was bolstered by the privacy of the car. Ruth bit her lip. No one needed her. Ever. She was just there. Inconsequential, timid and boring. Her brain was her only asset as far as she could see. Her mother had called her a worthless piece of dirt and sided with her stepbrother who had merely used her. Everyone she had been close to since had abused her trust, got what they wanted and thrown her aside.

"Yes you can." She held back the tears. Whatever she felt for Harry, he was still her boss. A deep cover op in Baghdad and late nights alone on the Grid didn't change that. She sighed. "You can do this."

"Not without you." He parked the car. "Ruth, you keep me sane. Keep me on the right side of the fence. Without you, I'm as bad as those men that killed our friend."

"No you are not." Ruth stared ahead. Her voice a little harsher than it had been. "Harry, you are not a traitor or a murderer. You would never do what those men did." Tears sprung to her eyes as she spoke. Her voice cracked a little. Harry felt his heart break a little. He had no idea what he had done to deserve such esteem from Ruth. It was a lot to live up to. He slipped into the Grid unnoticed as she kept her back to him. Moments later he was behind her.

"Ruth." He rested his hands on her shoulders before taking the phone out of her hand. "All we can do now is wait. His funeral is on Friday. We have to concentrate on that now."

"Harry." Her voice was small as he turned her chair to face him before crouching in front of her.

"Listen to me." Harry slipped his hands over hers as her eyes focused on them. "You are something special. When I say I need you I need you." He touched her hand. "Now home. That's an order."

"I." Her eyes met his as he tugged on her hands, getting her to stand. She fell silent, knowing there was just a hare's breath between them. She closed her eyes as the scent of his aftershave assaulted her senses. His hand brushed a tear away.

"Home. I'll drive you. I don't want you to get the bus tonight. Let me get us some take away and I can tell you all about the meeting."

"You don't have to." The self doubt crept back into her voice. Her mother's taunts echoing around her brain. Why would anyone want to be with her? To care about her? But Harry seemed to.

"I know." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'd like to. Ruth, please." She nodded.

"Ok." Her eyes opened. She could feel his breath on her face. Her eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her forehead. He stepped back, handing her the bag she always carried before leading her out of the Grid.

Xxxxxx


	14. Chapter 14

Takeaway

Ruth watched as Harry set the pizza boxes on the table. He had said little about his meeting but she could see it had left him visibly shaken. She knew he wanted to protect her from the details but as far as she could see it was too late to worry about that. She had given him the names of Colin's murderers. She had done the ground work. If anything happened to the young men who had followed Joss Myers orders then she was as guilty as the others.

"I'm worried about Malcolm." Harry paused. "He was always protective of Colin. This had hit him hard."

"Yes." Ruth agreed. "It has. Do you remember when we bugged the American Embassy?"

"That was nothing. Do you know how awkward it was to explain that hole in the wall?" Harry shook his head, smiling slightly. "I don't think Maintenance believed it."

"Mice." Ruth picked up her slice of pizza. Harry raised an eyebrow. "That's what Colin told me the hole was caused by." Harry laughed.

"When?"

"Just before you asked me to go to Iraq."

"Oh." Harry held her gaze for a moment. He remembered every minute of their ill fated trip to Iraq. He didn't think he'd ever forget Adam's shooting, the sudden dash to get their legends sorted or acting as partners for the time they were there.

"What?"

"I was just thinking."

"That's my line." Ruth smiled slightly.

"I was remembering you stopping that bus robbery on the way to Kuwait. You terrified me, the way you stopped those thugs. You were brilliant."

"I." She blushed. "I lost my temper that day."

"You were brilliant." Harry repeated. "And you still are. I mean it Ruth."

She picked up her drink, blushing. "Are you going to tell me about the meeting?" Harry paused. "Harry?"

"I met someone. He can help bring some justice to those men." Harry knew she would hate him bringing Tom back into their world. She bit her lip.

"I see."

"I trust him."

"Who? Tell me. At least if the crap hits the fan I know who I'm dealing with." She felt his hand on hers as she spoke. Her hand shook slightly. "Harry."

"Tom Quinn."

"What!" She paused as he looked down. "He's not stable. He's not even a spook now. Are you aware he's a mercenary now? I've missed him at work but." She ran a hand through her hair as Harry held her other hand.

"He's more than capable. I trust him."

"He left because he couldn't do this anymore. He's a civilian now." Ruth glanced at their hands. Things were shifting between them. She had no idea when it had happened but she knew the 'crush' she had developed was a lot more than she had believed it to be. Her pulse quickened.

"Tom isn't going to kill anyone. That wouldn't be justice for anyone. The police will never charge them with Colin's murder." Harry sighed. Ruth felt tears spring to her eyes. She nodded, knowing he was right.

Xxxxxxxx

Malcolm walked the corridors of Thames House aware that he should be at home. He had no business being in Thames House at that time of night but he had no idea where else he should be. The Grid would be on skeletal staff, the pub closed and home meant being alone with his thoughts. That was never good. He sighed, knowing that in less than forty eight hours he would be delivering the eulogy at his best friend's funeral. The thought made him sick to his stomach. He knew Harry and Ruth were up to something- he dreaded to think what. Justice and peace had been mentioned repeatedly. He narrowed his eyes; knowing that an eye for an eye would be pointless. That it would mean nothing - it wouldn't bring Colin back. Covering his eyes he fought the tears, praying that no one else got hurt.

Xxxxxxx

The air between them changed as Harry slipped his hand further up Ruth's forearm. Her eyes met his as he began closing the small gap between them. Ruth jumped, startled as the mobile phone on the coffee table sprang to life. Harry picked it up before the 'mission impossible' theme continued. Ruth smirked slightly. Harry shrugged before answering with a curt 'yes.'

"It's done." He heard the monotone voice of the former Section Chief. He ended the call before turning back to Ruth.

"It's done. It's over."

"What?"

"That was Tom. Maybe Colin will get the peace he deserves now."

Ruth nodded, not fully understanding what was going on but she hoped he was right.

Xxxxx


	15. Chapter 15

Peace

Harry watched as Malcolm spoke with Adam and Jo. The wake had been a small affair; just family and close friends at Colin's sisters request. Now there were just a few people left he felt able to talk with Ruth.

"Have you seen the news?"

"Harry."

"Tom was true to his word." Harry watched as she held his gaze for a moment. She had no idea what he was talking about. The day of Colin's funeral had passed in a whirlwind. The last thing she had thought of was watching the television. The only thing she had been able to concentrate on had been getting through the funeral. Raising an eyebrow she turned to him.

"I daren't ask."

"Both men arrested last night in the Camden area. Around £30000 worth of heroin, MDMA and cocaine. Biggest haul London has had got twenty years. They're looking at fourteen years in prison."

Ruth glared at Harry.

"Ruth."

"It should be a murder charge."

"Ruth," Harry knew she was right. There was no way of proving it and he knew it would only cause Colin's family more pain. "This way they are punished."

"They may go to trial, yes. But there may be a not guilty verdict." Malcolm stated as he joined the couple. Ruth gulped her wine; a lump in her throat threatening to force her tears to the fore. She didn't want to cry in front of Malcolm and Harry. They had been through so much her tears felt selfish.

"No." Harry touched her hand. "It isn't the charge it should be. But they will be found guilty."

"I'm not going to ask how you know." Malcolm looked pointedly at his friend. Ruth bit her lip. Moments later Carl, Colin's nephew approached them forcing a change in subject. Ruth excused herself before leaving the three men to chat.

Xxxxxx

The evening wore on as Ruth sat on the sofa, Fidget curled on her lap. She knew Harry had meant well when he had contacted Tom but there was something about him she couldn't trust anymore. Planting Class A drugs on someone was low. She couldn't feel sorry for their entrapment but it still made her feel uneasy. It didn't seem right that the men who had mercilessly murdered her friend would never face a judge to account for their crimes.

"You'd have liked Colin." Ruth spoke to the kitten as he rolled on his back. "Everyone did."

The kitten purred, enjoying the attention.

"Yes, I'm a mad cat woman." She smiled as the doorbell rang. She wanted to ignore the bell but knew whoever it was wouldn't go away. Deciding paying her cat attention was more important she let the bell ring once more. The cat me owed as the door lock clicked.

"In here Harry." She called as he made his way to the living room. He tugged on his tie as she looked up. He sat down.

"You frightened me. Why didn't you answer?"

"Anyone else would have left. I knew you'd pick your lock." She smiled as he raised an eyebrow. "Are you ok?"

"Yes. I just drove Malcolm home. Jo is making sure Ros and the boys are safe. I was worried when you left."

"Sorry." The cat jumped off her lap as Harry spoke. "Didn't mean to worry you. I just needed to be on my own. Not to have to lie to Colin's family."

"I understand. Marjorie knew. The rest of the family thought he was a computer tech in an office in London." Harry spoke calmly. "It wasn't really a lie when you think about it."

"I miss him."

"I know. Me too."

"I hate this." Harry crossed to her. "Colin was my friend. We were close but all I could think of today was how I'd feel if it were your funeral." Tears filled her eyes as Harry took both her hands in his. "I'm a horrible person. My friend was laying in that coffin, dead and gone and I was crying for another man."

Harry felt his heart break a little as she looked away. "Peace? Colin may have found it but I don't think I will." Harry pulled her into his arms, soothing her as she cried into his arms. He held her tightly, whispering quietly into her ear before kissing her temple.

"You will. It's ok." He breathed the words as she clung to him. "I know you wanted the truth to come out. Tell the truth and shame the Devil, but these people. These people have no shame. No conscious."

Ruth nodded.

"This can't happen again."

"Ruth."

"Promise me we won't end up like Joss Myers and his cronies. Bitter and full of hate."

He took her face in his palms.

"I promise." He kissed her forehead. "That can't happen to you. To us."

"I kept thinking." Ruth bit her lip.

"I'll do my best not to put you in that position. Ruth." He smiled slightly as Ruth nodded. "We keep going."

"Can't go on. Must go on." Ruth sighed. Harry nodded; knowing things were changing between them but not knowing exactly what to do about it.

Xxxx

Malcolm walked through the cemetery glad that the rest of the team had gone home. Colin had been his best friend. A brother in arms. Now he was gone. Sitting on the bench opposite the newly dug grave.

"Colin Wells." Malcolm paused. "I hope you are at peace now. This has shaken my faith. I don't know his a God can allow this to happen to a man like you." He swallowed hard; his voice breaking. "I know I won't forget you. We got you justice but we couldn't get you the truth. I'll always regret that. Rest my friend, I'll see you again one day." He got to his feet, ready to leave. "Sleep well, I won't forget you. None of us will."

Xxxxxxx

A/N the end. Please review


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